Emotions Dump #3

Probably isn't gonna be a long post today. Just not feeling it for some reason, just wanna lie down and watch Hololive clips or streams.

Another day at work where I feel like I didn't really do anything. I've got a bunch of meetings tomorrow, so that's probably gonna suck. I'm still more worried about my other tasks that I have. 

Today my manager talked to me a lot on the inner workings of the company. Manager was quite forthcoming with how the company operates, the politics, the culture etc...and frankly speaking, it didn't really surprise me. Malaysian work culture has grown too toxic, the "chinaman" culture has crept into all companies regardless of the company's size. Smaller companies exploit their workers due to "lack of resources", bigger companies exploit their workers to "maximize profits". The system is fucking broken, it's rigged against the working class. Why do we even have to work so hard sometimes.

I decided that after hours is completely off limits for work, and I hope I can keep that up. I really hope so.

Anyway my manager did ask me whether I expected this when I joined the company. And I answered them pretty honestly, like not at all, holy shit. I got thrown into the deep end having to deal with customer support, and I'm still reeling from the fucked up anxiety and worry its caused me.

Sigh anyway. Like I said, short post today. I need to emotionally prepare to travel to a farther project site this Saturday as well, and I'm still pretty upset and anxious about it.

Hoping for a better tomorrow. Signing off.